But with you......

Women spend all their life looking for their Mr. Right.

Is he the one with smashing looks and deep pockets?

Is he the one that makes women weak in their knees just with a smirk? 

Is he the one that would swat away an army of hooligans with just a flick of wrist?

Maybe... but only in movies and novels. 

These things don't really matter to them in real life. 

There are so many issues and problems that women face each day of their life. They just need someone who would care for them and love them for who they are. Someone who would stand by them and support them even in the eye of a storm. 

Having that someone special by their side makes a world of difference.

But with you... is a poem from the perspective of such a women. A woman who has someone in her corner, cheering and rooting for her as she takes on the world head on.

A relationship is not always about

Flowers, chocolates and dates

It’s about finding someone who is there for you

It’s about finding a soulmate

It never really happens in a blink you know,

True love is actually like wine

It takes perseverance, patience, perspective

And most of all it takes time

Sometimes I am fickle, I know

But with you… I’ve never been surer in my life

I never believed all of my life

That I was born to make somebody someday whole

I am my own person, my own master

I have my own life, my goals

  

I never needed a man you know

Who’d get me expensive clothes or blings

I am the girl who wanted to fly

And you were the man who gave me wings

Sometimes I am impossible, I know

But with you… I am the impossible

People say you’re self-obsessed and obnoxious

You act like a bitch and then cry like a banshee

But the truth, I know only in my heart

I am just afraid of the world always judging me

When I see myself through your eyes

I see the me, the real me

Stripped of all facades and mirages

And the person I can be

Sometimes I am crazy, I know

But with you... I own my crazy

There are instances where I break down

And there is no courage left to summon

But I still have to seem tough and unfazed

‘cause in a man’s world I am just a woman

You are the one that tells me to believe in myself

You always tell me I am stronger than I think

You are the one who gives me the strength

To fight my own battles against these misogynistic hoodwinks

Sometimes I might be a big mess

But with you… I am force to be reckoned with 

Because. You. Do

You know I try really hard
But nothing ever works out for me...
I am caught in this chain of misfortune
And I just can't seem to break free...

You always tell me, "I know you are winner baby.
There is nothing that you have to prove."
So I guess I can have a little faith in myself,
Because. 
You. 
Do.

I am always plagued by this feeling
of anxiety, fear and sorrow...
A cloud of melancholy and despondency
Wherever I go, it follows...

How your light survives my pessimism maelstrom
I don't even have a clue...
But I guess, for once, I can give hope a chance.
Because. 
You. 
Do.

My constant battle with my demons
It's consumed me and broken my soul...
How can you say I complete you
When by myself, I am not even whole...

Blinded by my own darkness
Only you show me the way through...
And that's exactly why I need to start to believe in myself,
Because. 
You. 
Do.

No matter what I am going through
I want to do good by you...
To always make you feel happy and loved
Even if it's the last thing I do...

I might not be sure about a lot of things in life
But one thing I know is true...
It's okay if the world thinks we don't belong together.
Because. 
You. 
Do.

Most of my life, I wasted
Trapped in the self deprecation bubble...
But you were always there for me
Standing strong through all of my struggle...

So I didn't even put up a fight when we broke up
And you walked away without a simple adieu...
I think it was right for us to part ways
Because.
You. 
Do.

You know how much you meant to me
And how much I meant to you...
Our separation hit me real hard
I can only imagine what you must've felt thereto...

I know I am hurting and in a world of pain
But I hope you get the strength to get through...
Because I know it's not true that you don't care anymore,
I know
Because. 
You. 
Do.

You were the best thing in my wretched life
If only I had realized it in time...
We only get one shot at true love
And now I know, I blew mine...

I am walking this treacherous path of life alone
just scraping by and doing my bid...
And its okay if no one ever loves me again
Because. 
I know. 
You.
Did.

Just one last time

Tell me I’m yours and tell me your mine

I want to say I love you just one last time.

Let me smell your hair

And let me touch your skin

'cause I am hopelessly in love

And that’s all I’ve ever been

I wish to drown in your beautiful eyes

and caress that pretty face

Hold you real close so as

to feel your heartbeat race

I want to take you in my arms

and give you a kiss

I want to feel it all again

feel that eternal bliss

I want my breath to be in yours and yours in mine

I want to say I love you just one last time

With you everything felt dreamy

and completely enchanted

Fool I was,

who took you for granted

Never stopped to take a moment

and said that I loved you

What’s in it to say

I thought you already knew

I never thanked god

for having met you

Never gave you chocolates, flowers

even gifts very few.

Not a moment goes by

wishing that I should have

I would've died to do it now

only if I could have

If relationship was a mountain I’m sure we had the hardest climb

So I want to say I love you just one last time

I think I always knew

that I was never good enough for you

You were beautiful,

charismatic and subliminal too

Perfect you were,

the flawed one was me

But it didn’t bother you

‘cause you loved me unconditionally

We had no compatibility

no understanding, not even trust

We had nothing in common

not even things that are a must

Perfectly imperfect for one another

and about it, people made a lot of fuss

But none of that mattered

‘cause we were in love and it worked for us

I'd be imprisoned for life if love was a crime

So I want to say I love you just one last time

Till death does us apart,

we both vowed together

But death it was that,

pulled me by the tether

I'll never leave your side

I know I had said

You must have thought I abandoned you,

you must've thought I fled

      Stranded on the other side of life

      I am helpless and in vain

      I can’t see you suffer

      I can’t see you in pain

      But my soul hovering over your halo,

      should actually be at peace

      It shouldn’t matter that I died,

      ‘cause it matters that you lived 

      I want to be with you, but I can’t cause the choice isn’t mine

      Yet all I want to do is say I love you just one last time     

What is Love ???

What is it to be in Love exactly?

Is it really the violins playing, wind chimes chiming and butterflies fluttering in the stomach?

Is it when you are in love the wind blows the girls’ dupatta and it falls on the guys’  face who is standing miles apart and a song starts to play in the background?

Is it when two people are walking such that three guys can easily do bhangra between the spaces separating them and suddenly the girls’ sari gets stuck on the guys’ bracelet? They try to remove it and in doing so they look in each others’ eyes and that’s it the world stops. (And let’s not forget the song starts to play in the background).

Or is it when girl is walking on a friggin rough floor that has the greatest coefficient of friction and suddenly she slips on so much as a single sesame seed. And out of nowhere the guy comes and holds her just in time trying to maintain his own balance and striking the famous RK banner pose. They look in each others’ eyes and that’s that. Come on now the bloody song really feels bad so it plays again for the umpteenth time in background.

                                                                                    

Is this love?  

I don’t think so; it’s Karan Singh Grover a.k.a Dr. Armaan starrer Dill Mill Gayye (with extra L’s and Y’s) version of love. Love in reality is much much more than that. It’s a feeling that can’t be described in words. It’s a thought that has eluded poets and writers for centuries. And these were their attempts to put a finger on it. So I decided to put it to thought too. Love is the most talked about and written about topic in the world. People spend their entire life trying to find that someone special. Love can be, most of the time mistaken for infatuation. The question which once had started as ‘What is love’ boils down to ‘Is this love’. There is a very thin line between infatuation and love.

So how is one supposed to tell the difference?

The best test is time. Infatuation never stands the test of time but with love it’s a completely different story. No matter how filmi it sounds but you’ll just know it when the time comes. Everybody wants to fall in love, be loved and experience love. It’s a phase in which a small thought of hers will keep you smiling for hours. Having said all those things I’m damn sure the attention of most of girls would still have lingered on the name Karan Singh Grover. Hasn’t it? Damn it! I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned him. Crap! I did it again. Moving on, her face is imprinted so well on your memory that you can see her every time you close your eyes. Sometimes you pray to god to give you that artistic gift just so you can sketch her, to give you that poetic sense just so you could write a poem for her. Being in love is like being in a mystical place where every day is like the first day of spring. Every thought is worth singing for. The atmosphere always seems cozy and the heart is always soaring.

As hard falling in love might seem, staying in love is way harder. It’s a union of two souls and mid-way the process mind starts to interfere. You suddenly check for pros and cons. And that’s when the question arises; ‘is she the one.’ Every man that has walked on the face of this earth, at one time or another right from the birth of time itself has faced this inevitable dilemma ‘Is she the one’. This question defines everything and it might even turn your world upside down. But if it’s really meant to be, it’ll turn out to be the right way. And that’s when it starts to happen, wavelengths starts to match. The bond becomes stronger. But it doesn’t mean you complete each others’ sentences, it means that you don’t need sentences. And that is just the beginning and you’ll spend the rest of your life enjoying such things that we call love in the broader sense.

This was my version and I’m sure everyone has their own. Which might, I‘d like to add, include some dupattas flying……

But one thing’s for sure it always starts with one simple question, ‘What is Love.’

PS: all references to Dill Mill Gayye (with extra L’s and Y’s) are not because I watched it. It’s because I have a sister and she’s a fan, who goes Yipes!! And turns pink every time she hears the name Karan Singh Grover a.k.a Dr. Armaan. I swear I don’t get why girls blush by mere mention of his name…

Crap!! I did it again, didn’t I?  

Mumma I love you......

This is a little something that i wrote for my mother............

I know I’ve told you a million times

Give or take a few

But I’ll never tire of saying that

Mumma I really love you

To see me first was the hospital nurse

If I ever were to trace

But I opened my eyes the first time in the world

To your angelic face

I knew I had caused you enormous pain

And I could even see you cry.

But one look at me and you began to smile

I still can’t fathom why.

You reached for me with trembling hands

And held me close to your heart

‘My baby, my blood, my flesh,’ you said,

‘You’ll always be my part’

As days, weeks, and months passed by

You showered me with love so kind

I kept you awake for a Billion nights

Which you didn’t even seem to mind

 

I guess I had learned to crawl after that And even learned to stand

Every time gravity pulled me down

What held me, was your hand

You strained your ear at my rambling words

To register my first ever word

You tried to make sense of it

Even though they were absurd

My world expanded day by day and 

Meet people quite a ton

I became really busy making new friends

But you were the constant one

You’ve done things for me I can’t describe

My philosopher, my friend, my guide

Be it the high, be it the low

You always stood by my side

I pity the fools who think these are things

every mother obviously ought to do

I pity their tiny brains ‘cause I know

You did them only ‘cause you wanted to

I know I’ve told you a million times

Give or take a few

No matter what I say no matter what I do

Mumma I’ll always love you

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Parental Guidance Advised.

Just the other day I was watching the movie 'Jingle all the way' and I have a habit of watching movies credit to credit. Anyways the initial screen flashed on the TV that read ‘PG: Parental Guidance Advised’. It really got me thinking.

Is this term applicable to life?

Well our life is no less than a movie. A romantic love story (if and when we fall in love with that someone special), a suspense thriller (that nail-biting and spine chilling experience just before our academic results are coming out), a horror one (when you see ‘the exorcism of Emily rose’ just because your group watched it and you weren’t present for it and to top it off you watch the movie alone and wake up in the middle of the night. You look out at the deserted street from your window and for some God forsaken reason you see your digital clock go from 2:59 to 3:00), comedy (for every moment you spend with your friends doing what you do the best; nothing!). Our life has all the elements of a blockbuster in the making. So if PG is applicable in the movies, why not in life?

My mind reeled back to the time when my parents were my universe. It was the time when I was only five to six years old. My parents were my eyes and ears to the world. It was the time when I used to ask my parents to make, from the biggest to the most mundane of the decisions for me. I ask my heart everyday……………… why I don’t do it anymore.

What has changed?

I badgered my heart with this question and I came across the most probable explanation that I would like to share with you.

The reason was Adolescence and Senescence.

‘Adolescence’ is the transition from childhood to adulthood and ‘Senescence’ is the transition from adulthood to a more seasoned adulthood. I am currently in the post-adolescent phase of my life and my parents are in the pre-senescent phase of theirs. Adolescence and senescence are two strikingly different ideologies. And when these clash, it results in a big bang that leaves behind a black hole we commonly know as ‘the generation gap’. This black hole just sucks out the true essence of the beautiful concept of family. 

The feeling that I am an individual and I have an opinion has developed over the years. This makes me challenge all the norms of life. My parents on the other hand being pre-senescent have seen the world and know a hell lot more than I do.

But whenever they tell me to do something or tell me not to do something, the first thing that pops in my head is that why should I? Or why shouldn’t I?

This, I know, is the case with most of us. But what we fail to understand is that they say or advise us out of experience. We cannot deny the fact that their experience is more valuable than the worlds riches combined.

Life is like a path and every person walks on it from the day he/she is born. This path has a lot of crossroads that determine our future. Also there are certain oases which may seem real, fruitful, compelling us to take that wrong turn. But they turn out to be immaterial and circumstantial beneficial like any other oasis. Whenever he/she meets new people, who accompany them, their paths join. But what happens when they become parents is something different. Their path somehow turns and ends up at the start of the life. But this path is different from the one on which they had once started walking. This path is parallel to the original one. Parents now see their children walk on the same path. The original path is not new to them. It’s the same path, the only difference being it’s their children that are walking on it and not them. They have complete knowledge of that path and so they guide their children right from the moment they embark on the beautiful journey we call life. They watch over and advise their kids to take some turns as well as miss some. They even let their children, i.e. us, take a few wrong turns just so that we could experience and learn from the mistakes we make. But when we are about to take a turn that is no less than a detour to a dead end, they set their foot down and do all they can to prevent us from doing so. The problem here is that they can do so only to a certain extent because the path is not theirs but ours to walk on.

So the bottom line is that whenever our parents advise us, we should not out-rightly reject it just because it’s coming from them. We should stop living under the same preconceived notion that parents don’t know anything. So try to fathom upon their advice and cautions. But we must also not forget that ultimately it’s our choice and our life is what we make it to be. Striking the right balance is important and thus I can conclude that parental guidance is advised even in real life.