Parental Guidance Advised.

Just the other day I was watching the movie 'Jingle all the way' and I have a habit of watching movies credit to credit. Anyways the initial screen flashed on the TV that read ‘PG: Parental Guidance Advised’. It really got me thinking.

Is this term applicable to life?

Well our life is no less than a movie. A romantic love story (if and when we fall in love with that someone special), a suspense thriller (that nail-biting and spine chilling experience just before our academic results are coming out), a horror one (when you see ‘the exorcism of Emily rose’ just because your group watched it and you weren’t present for it and to top it off you watch the movie alone and wake up in the middle of the night. You look out at the deserted street from your window and for some God forsaken reason you see your digital clock go from 2:59 to 3:00), comedy (for every moment you spend with your friends doing what you do the best; nothing!). Our life has all the elements of a blockbuster in the making. So if PG is applicable in the movies, why not in life?

My mind reeled back to the time when my parents were my universe. It was the time when I was only five to six years old. My parents were my eyes and ears to the world. It was the time when I used to ask my parents to make, from the biggest to the most mundane of the decisions for me. I ask my heart everyday……………… why I don’t do it anymore.

What has changed?

I badgered my heart with this question and I came across the most probable explanation that I would like to share with you.

The reason was Adolescence and Senescence.

‘Adolescence’ is the transition from childhood to adulthood and ‘Senescence’ is the transition from adulthood to a more seasoned adulthood. I am currently in the post-adolescent phase of my life and my parents are in the pre-senescent phase of theirs. Adolescence and senescence are two strikingly different ideologies. And when these clash, it results in a big bang that leaves behind a black hole we commonly know as ‘the generation gap’. This black hole just sucks out the true essence of the beautiful concept of family. 

The feeling that I am an individual and I have an opinion has developed over the years. This makes me challenge all the norms of life. My parents on the other hand being pre-senescent have seen the world and know a hell lot more than I do.

But whenever they tell me to do something or tell me not to do something, the first thing that pops in my head is that why should I? Or why shouldn’t I?

This, I know, is the case with most of us. But what we fail to understand is that they say or advise us out of experience. We cannot deny the fact that their experience is more valuable than the worlds riches combined.

Life is like a path and every person walks on it from the day he/she is born. This path has a lot of crossroads that determine our future. Also there are certain oases which may seem real, fruitful, compelling us to take that wrong turn. But they turn out to be immaterial and circumstantial beneficial like any other oasis. Whenever he/she meets new people, who accompany them, their paths join. But what happens when they become parents is something different. Their path somehow turns and ends up at the start of the life. But this path is different from the one on which they had once started walking. This path is parallel to the original one. Parents now see their children walk on the same path. The original path is not new to them. It’s the same path, the only difference being it’s their children that are walking on it and not them. They have complete knowledge of that path and so they guide their children right from the moment they embark on the beautiful journey we call life. They watch over and advise their kids to take some turns as well as miss some. They even let their children, i.e. us, take a few wrong turns just so that we could experience and learn from the mistakes we make. But when we are about to take a turn that is no less than a detour to a dead end, they set their foot down and do all they can to prevent us from doing so. The problem here is that they can do so only to a certain extent because the path is not theirs but ours to walk on.

So the bottom line is that whenever our parents advise us, we should not out-rightly reject it just because it’s coming from them. We should stop living under the same preconceived notion that parents don’t know anything. So try to fathom upon their advice and cautions. But we must also not forget that ultimately it’s our choice and our life is what we make it to be. Striking the right balance is important and thus I can conclude that parental guidance is advised even in real life.             

   

'The Window Seat Incident'

In this beautiful journey called life, very few people actually know about LIFE. Life is such a big word with multiple dimensions and infinite implications.

But what is life exactly?

A friend of mine once said to me that his laptop, IPOD, and cell were his life. He even said that he couldn’t even imagine what he would do without them. Truth be told, I was of the same opinion. But now when I think about it, it makes me realize how wrong I was. These necessities and utilities are generally misconstrued as ‘life’ by most. This is only a part of our life (a very integral one for some people, if I may say so). In reality, life is much much more than that. I can say this because I have been on both sides of the line.

But what made me cross the line?

It was the ‘window seat incident’ and I would be more than glad to share it with you.

I am a student, doing my engineering in the final year. One fine day after the college I boarded my regular bus to home. The bus was as usual overflowing with people. It was so stuffed that I could hardly find a place to stand. I was really tired and frustrated after an entire day in college, attending lectures and writing on the spot experiment write-ups. I had to stand for a good 15-20 minutes before I could even get a seat. But finally I did. I was just sitting there and looking around when something caught my eye. Two seats for where I was sitting were a mother and her approx five year old daughter and son. A pretty usual sight for anyone but what grabbed my attention was the two kids. They were fighting for the window seat. The weird thing was that as I continued to watch their squabble, I was actually smiling. It felt odd. Two kids fighting for a window seat was making me smile. I wondered if I was being sadistic deriving pleasure from others’ torment. The thought kept bugging me throughout the journey and it even tagged along as I reached home.

Why? What was it? Why the hell was I smiling?

As I lay there in my bed thinking about this incident trying to figure out the ‘why’ a memory just flashed in my mind. It was of two kids fighting for the window seat and I was smiling again. But this time it wasn’t them. The memory was of me and my sister fighting for the window seat when we were of their age. It made me realize that it was me and my sister that I saw in those kids today. That was what made me smile (and thank god for that, I was beginning to think that I was actually a sadist).

I closed my eyes and pressed my memory. I could vividly recall those days. It only made me wonder, what was so special about that damn window seat. What was so special, that I used to fight beg and sometimes even negotiate for that seat with my sister. The line that was no less than a line one would say before multi-billion dollar deal; “If you let me sit at the window today, the next time it would be yours.”

Why was the seat so important?

I dug deep into my brain and finally found the answer. The answer was staring me right in the eyes as I relived the moment again in my mind. I wanted the seat because it brought me joy. To look out the window and see the world as we zoomed past them, to feel the wind in my hair, to try and take in gulps of air as the vehicle sped. A thing, so mundane, used to make me happy. But it was a long time ago. I was a grown-up now. Fighting for the window seat seemed really silly. But that wasn’t it. I then began thinking of all the little things that mattered, like sleeping in your mothers lap, listening to the rain, trying really hard to win an arm wrestling match just because a girl was watching you, sharing a moment of connection with your best friend when nobody is understanding a word you are saying but only your best friend’s eyes reflect that he understood you.

Was I too grown-up for these?

I am laden with responsibilities and this too is not it. As I will grow older and older, life will bring me new challenges and new responsibilities. But that never meant that I can’t and won’t enjoy these small things that made me happy and made me smile.

This was what made me cross the line. One must stop for a moment in their lives and enjoy these small instances, no matter how insignificant they might seem to others. We must experience our life rather than just live it like drones.

If you haven’t started yet please start now or maybe tomorrow or maybe the day after. But what is important is that you start. It’s perfectly OK if you don’t agree with me. Because I strongly believe that no one can make you believe something that you don’t want to believe in the first place. People who don’t agree can spend their life as they’ve been spending it. But one day you would believe because one day you would witness your own ‘window seat incident’.